Hi dude,
Sounds like you get caught up in things, but also sounds like you have fun zooming around a subject in this way until you find yourself under a mountain of (sometimes conflicting?) data : ) We've probably all been there... exploration turns into introspection and that's all very well for a short time but its not productive unless we do something creative with it. It turns into an experience described in the Police song lyrics: “Too much information, running through my brain!!”
I don't know how you experience this but for me its very similar to not being able to make decisions; -not being able to step out of 'open mode' (creative though it may be) into 'closed mode' where we stay on the target area and perform the procedures or come to the conclusions necessary to affect change.
Not being able to do that can be a very confusing feeling, and in me can lead to snapback (which may have happened to you as well?)
Obviously what works for me may not work for you, but its worth a try: I temporarily increase ACh, then deliberately focus on asking myself exactly what I am trying to achieve in a journey/project, whether I have achieved it, and where to go next if I haven't. Relating what I'm doing to the big picture also helps me take decisions and get practical instead of theoretical, as I sometimes get stuck because although there's loads of data/experience it doesn't relate congruously to that bigger picture of what I'm doing overall and what specifically I'm trying to achieve in this bit.
Sometimes the conclusion is that there's not enough data after all, sometimes some of the data turns out to be dodgy, sometimes there's too much distracting information and the focus of exploration needs to be narrowed down, often my mind was just tired of the same subject and needed a change of activity (or some sleep and proper food) for things to defrag and 'fit together'. ...Dunno if any of this is any use, but feel free to experiment!
Re: Now since I have been away I kept thinking along my journey that in the end what the mystics say and a lot of what the continental philosophers say is compatible with NH.
Yeh...It looks like “what the mystics say” can be roughly translated as “What the dudes say who interpret unconscious awareness with a mystical-context model” : )
Re: But then I am left with this strong ideallogical desire and pain to just have absolutely no suffering! I hate it so much!
...Now that's not true, is it? Because if we really did wake up unable to feel pain of any kind, we'd be at constant serious risk of injury and would be unable to tell when we had many infections. People with this sort of condition in real life have a very hard time of it, and it's Very Good that we notice the pain of every sting, bite, inflammation and accident, otherwise we'd more than likely be dead.
Your closing paragraphs imply that you're practising activities without any clear reason and that's a waste of time! You're the Captain; decide what you like to do, enjoy doing, desire to do, are inspired by doing...and concentrate on doing it. Nobody is gonna interrogate you on why you did it; and even if they did you have the best reason in the world -fun and learning. That's what free will is all about; having the freedom for fun, learning and interaction.
Re:You guys and a lot of other People are telling me that logic is very important.
I can only speak for me, but I don't recall anyone here ever telling anyone that logic is important. I recall quoting Spock's “Logic is just the beginning of wisdom”, but that's not at all the same thing.
Re: I know you guys are going to say that LIFE is pretending and then I will say "there is still suffering".
...I have a memory of discussing this somewhere else...my interpretation of research here leads me to observe the opposite : Reality is what happens all by itself when people stop pretending. When they stop imagining a pretend universe and start imagining the real one.
In the pretend universe, god/s made everything and politics/religion/society's laws is how god intends us to run things. The conscious mind knows all about these things and forgets that some other human made them all up, once upon a time.
In the real universe, there are the laws of physics, chemistry, biology, mathematics. The unconscious mind knows all about these things and forgets the conscious mind may not listen to it.
Life is not 'pretending'; life is about as seriously real as anything can get. Sure it is full of complex behavior and even performance -where performance is relevant to the process of life (for example in mating display behaviors) -but this is not pretending. The dancing bird of paradise doesn't pretend to want a female -he genuinely does want one.
All behavior is 'acting' in the sense of performing a task, but there's obviously a difference in 'acting out' a series of steps to achieve something like typing this message, and 'acting' (in which I could be filmed hitting any keys on an unplugged computer and pretending to type this message). I think it's probably really important to understand this, because it's the crux of the difference between real self (no pretending) and society's ideal self; the person most folks pretend to be.
At root, the 'honesty' core condition demands we drop all pretense*. Okay, purists could say that wearing clothes is a pretense -it's hiding what we really look like, but conversely we could say we'd rather be honest about how cold we are, and if we really like each other a lot, the clothes do come off : )
Best,
AR
*...someone's gonna ask about placebos in relation to this, I bet : )
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