Hi folks,
There is a habit on the part of some here to complain to me if someone puts stuff in the forums that breaks core conditions (CCs.)

Beyond the obvious cases of those of you who helpfully report spam, I understand the intent behind asking for censorship of posts considered 'dodgy' is to help others learn in a low-anxiety environment, but it would be much more helpful if we could talk about these issues on the forum rather than just with me (unless they directly concern my personal communication style or are criticisms of it).

If communication problems occur I will generally give members a 'heads up', but as far as I can tell, problems between members are usually down to failure to understand core conditions, not each other.

Under core conditions, members should be trying to find out each others' "personal Bushido" and adapting themelves to communicate. "Personal Bushido" = a person's idea of what is polite and what is rude in ordinary conversation. For some people, it's swearing. For others, it's words such as 'damn' and 'hell'. For many, it's upper case text, sexist or racist language. For others, it's assuming too much familiarity or even talking to them without being introduced.

If we have communication problems, I recommend Discourse Analysis (DA) to self-assess whether our words are in keeping with CCs, and where we could be misunderstood.

As techniques go, it's most useful to those with strong front networks, but does give valuable insights.
A discourse analysis doesn't mean you can make a correct conclusion. We can follow DA rules sufficiently to pick out 'common' communication blunders in text, but DA can never tell you exactly what offends a particular individual. We can only get the basics, not the details. I was removed from one group just for saying "Oh god that was funny", about a video (it was the mention of god that turned out to be offensive there apparently).

We are like the dudes in Star Trek who just met a whole bunch of different aliens and have to try to be diplomatic with no idea what offends whom. The intention our words can convey when misunderstood may not be our own intended meaning at all.

There's always a danger of making the fundamental attribution error in considering core conditions (thinking, why should I censor myself? -if this dude is so sensitive/paranoid/easily offended its not my problem) forgetting that we are responsible for our half of every communication, and it is always in our own best interests to create a scene where people feel at ease (healthy) rather than nervous (ill) because only then can interaction go on.

Another trouble with this sort of problem is it seems to be the hardest thing in the world to get an already-offended person to talk about it in 'spock' mode, cos anxiety's already kicked in.

All we can really do is suss out what might offend, and "if in doubt leave it out". If our discourse matches up to core conditions, it's not our fault if it still offends; we have done our part and "it takes two to tango". We can't do other people's part -there are still plenty of folks out there who don't know latin who believe the word 'manager' is sexist.

I'm also going into this sort of stuff more in tutorials soon but as you know that's a slow process!

Hope this is helpful, if any others have learned ways of ensuring CCs or good interaction, or ways of getting around such probs, please share. I know my biggest problem is my sense of humor and I'm sure I've offended most of you with it at some point, but we're still talking to each other  :  )
Best,
AR

PS What would be really funny is if nobody ever read this post. That would make it 'undiscovered' in a sort of multi dimensional way LOL  :  )