Hi dude,
You wrote:
It was easy for me because I did not even have the kind of anxiety that was described as "non-conscious." But were clear signs of anxiety that could manifest as a sudden rise in heart beats, or sitting with the computer and automatically begin to move the legs, "eating" nails, etc have tense shoulders.
Believe it or not, these symptoms pass unnoticed by many people and are part of what is normally 'unconscious anxiety'! In conscious anxiety, we are able to state the reason for our angst (for example being nervous about an exam, worrying about whether we may get blamed for something, fear of heights, and so on).
Of course, many blame unconscious anxiety on events in the here and now, even though they're not the cause.
I believe in these last few weeks have improved a bit this state, although is still not enough, it is difficult when you live in an "area" where you have no option of having control over (no choice) to remove certain "input control." Certain people in my family that I have the "obligation" to meet regularly feel they do happen to some elevation of anxiety and I have to limit to just after trying to reduce them with techniques to reduce anxiety.
I want you to be clear about reality and your own personal power here...You DO have a choice. You choose to meet certain circumstances that you choose to consider obligations. In real life, nobody would die and nothing terrible would happen, cosmically speaking, if you were to decide not to consider them obligations or not to do them. Some people would get anxious; that's about as serious as it gets.
So be very clear in your mind that these are choices you have made for a good reason because you're intelligent and you know that for you in the here and now the benefits of those choices outweigh the harm. THIS is reality. Always remember you are the captain : )
If on the other hand they are choices previously made from fear; from anxiety about what might happen if you don't comply, or from coercion, then you have some difficult new choices to make : )
It is amazing how the brain creates the connection of an initial experience that perhaps we did get very anxious and then that experience stay when we "remember" or experience it again and is going to make us feel the same way
Yes it's particularly weird after an accident, when people often have difficulty passing the same spot where it happened, or doing the same thing, even though they know logically there is now no danger : )
... how to break this habit? or how "reverse" it? try to equal or exceed the "weight" but in a possitve (emotion weight?) experience?
In cases like the above, re-exposure with a 'hard take off' can work well (for example, you fall off a bike, you get straight back on as soon as possible and avoid an exaggerated memory forming in the first place.) This also works well with some phobias. But there are many different ways to do this. Co counseling has some good techniques, or you can re-weight a memory yourself by various means. Often a lot of healthy reconsolidation goes on right after you start anxiety-reduction though, so give the brain time to do its thing before you interfere with it : )
One example I shared was that of a couple of weeks ago, get a driver's license, and went out first time, and probably lack the of practice (and because I was a bit nervous for being the first time) I stopped car in the middle of the street (bad "game" of clutch and throttle and it "shutdown") and unfortunately started to form a line of cars trying to pass, hoping that I could start the car again. And while I could finally "get out" was a couple of minutes where I release a great deal of anxiety and I think my brain "attached" the experience of taking the car to that point because I feel like every time I try out the car again I feel quite anxious, it sucks. It sucks when you are aware of what is happend and you "don't have the control" to change it.
What to do to reverse the situation? Perhaps the day will come out the car and that everything goes "perfect" may change this association? but the truth is that until now had no success, because that always causes anxiety (bad first experience) always carry enough anxiety above and to commit "minor errors" in handling that cause could not gain enough confidence.
If I felt this sort of thing I would avoid the activity until you have sufficient self confidence not to care what other people think of you. However, are you sure you're interpreting the experience clearly? Maybe you are very aware of how mental a lot of people can be when driving -in short, just as mental as they are the rest of the time, but more annoyed... It becomes not a matter of what people think but what loonies do (this is why I don't drive).
Ps: Plus Anxiety probably the experience is harder to dominate because my N2 and n4 networks has "very low" scores (i did the FA.) And i think that two has a important role in driving.
I know N2/N4 do tend to work in diagonal a lot but I'm surprised at the low N4; is it for wronguse or nonuse? I mean you're quite interactive so if N4 is low now, you're going to be as happy as a bee with a bath full of honey when it starts to go broadband LOL : )
Best,
AR